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Taha whānau: family wellbeing

Your whānau is part of you, your health and your happiness.

Taha whānau is about the people who matter: your family, your friends and the people you spend time with at school, in work or in your community.

It’s about knowing you belong and understanding how the things that are unique and great about you are part of something bigger.

Happiness science across cultures shows that having strong, healthy connections with other people is one of the best ways to improve your wellbeing. And building relationships that make you happy doesn’t have to be hard.

Think about reconnecting

Like everything else in life, families are complicated and difficult- and when stuff goes wrong, it can sometimes feel impossible to fix.

No one understands your life or your whānau better than you. If you’re sure that walking away is the right thing to do, it probably is.

But if you want to rebuild your relationship with your family, we may be able to help. Your local youth service provider can refer you for Family Reconciliation Counselling (FRC). At FRC, a counsellor will support you and your family to talk about your issues and try to find a solution that means you can move home. If that all seems a bit much, don’t worry! Your youth coach can help you work out small steps to reconnect in a way that works for you.

Contact your nearest provider

Build healthy relationships

Whether it’s with your mum, your best friend or your partner, a close relationship should make you feel good about yourself. It should bring out your best qualities and the other person’s.

It’s normal for relationships to have ups and downs- but if the time you spend with your whānau isn’t making you happy, ask yourself whether something needs to change.

Signs that a relationship isn’t working might include:

  • You don’t feel like you can be yourself around the other person, or you don’t feel good about yourself after you spend time with them.
  • When you’re together, you often do unhealthy things, like drinking too much, taking drugs or arguing.
  • One or both of you often says or does things to hurt or upset the other.

If you’re not sure whether a relationship is healthy, there are plenty of places you can get support and advice.

If you’re enrolled in youth service, you can talk to your youth coach about how you’re feeling.

Relationships for rainbow taiohi

You, Me, Us is full of useful information about healthy relationships for rainbow people.

You, me, us: What is a healthy relationship?

Wellbeing for rainbow rangatahi

Taiohi with intellectual disability

The Fullpower website has a section all about healthy relationships for people with intellectual disabilities. It’s got tonnes of advice, stories and activities.

Fullpower: Healthy relationships

Abuse and violence

Abuse and violence in a friendship, a family or a romantic relationship are never OK. There’s lots of help out there for you if you’re being abused, or if you’re worried that you’re abusing someone else.

Family violence isn’t just about getting the bash. The Are You OK website has a good explanation of what family violence is and lists some places you can get help.

Are you OK?

The Sophie Elliott foundation website has got lots of information about how to recognise abuse in romantic relationships, and where to get help.

Sophie Elliott Foundation

Where to get help if you're in an abusive relationship

Belonging

Te Whare Tapa Whā recognises something that’s true of all people, whatever our background or culture: it makes us feel good to have our qualities recognised and be part of bigger things.

The places you live, work or go to school are part of who you are- so knowing how you belong in them is important for your self-esteem and your happiness. There are some easy ways to get involved.

Volunteer

As a volunteer, you’ll use your unique qualities and skills to do something good- and at same time, meet people in your community who care about the things you do.

The Volunteering New Zealand website is a good place to get started finding opportunities to volunteer in your local area.

Volunteering New Zealand

Join a group, do a course

Cooking, mountain biking, parenting: if someone’s doing it, you can bet there’s a club for it. Find what’s going on near you by searching social media or looking for adverts in your local shops and newspapers.